Whether you are looking for a less conventional work-time schedule or just hoping for the occasional abbreviated workday to make your son’s basketball game, asking for personal time can be very stressful, particularly when you’re determined to make your way up the corporate ladder.

If you’re just starting out, it can be hard to imagine negotiating a flexible schedule, particularly when you feel you need to pay your dues. The specter of student loan debt from both undergraduate and graduate programs hanging over your head like the Sword of Damocles doesn’t help either. Think, however, in terms of quality instead of quantity where your work product is concerned. Working around the clock, chronically exhausted, does not yield quality work. All work and no play really does make Jack a dull boy.

Much has been written about balancing work against life when you’ve chosen a demanding career. Some say it can be done; others claim it’s a myth. Still others point out that the concept of balance between the two itself is flawed because work represents a percentage of your life as a whole, and does not exist as a separate entity. Essentially, balance should be more correctly defined as determining all the demands on your person against your capacity to satisfy them, and making the necessary adjustments.

The reality is that each situation is different. Each corporate job has varying demands and each individual’s life has equally varying demands. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to define the priorities: what is important to them, what responsibilities they have to juggle, which ones they can relinquish, and what type of job they can and are willing to perform. There is no one size fits all solution. It is about identifying your priorities.

If wealth and prestige rank highly on your list, then you will be willing to commit to extensive hours spent at the office each year at an illustrious firm. If keeping a more conventional workweek slots higher on your list, then the type of job you select should reflect this. Those who value their personal time more heavily, often don’t mind having to watch their pennies more closely. It’s arguably less about finding balance and more about establishing acceptable tradeoffs. That said, it is still possible to climb up the corporate ladder without sacrificing your personal life altogether. And there are advantages to an employer who grants flexible schedules or time off.

Assuming that you already have a fairly good sense of what you’re juggling and have prioritized appropriately, it’s time to assess your actual work tasks. Does your work absolutely require your physical presence all the time at the office? If so, does it require a fixed schedule or simply a certain number of hours each week? If you have a particularly lengthy rush hour commute and can perform a portion of your tasks telecommuting from home, an argument may be made that working from home and traveling off-peak can actually afford you more time to work for your employer, not less. Can you negotiate a compressed schedule, say, working longer Monday through Thursday, and taking all or a portion of each Friday off? Or a combination of the two? Is job sharing a viable possibility? Would simply starting at a later time and working later into the evening suffice?

Find out whether other employees in your office have flexibility in their work schedules. If they don’t, do any of your co-workers seem receptive to the idea? A group is often in a stronger position to negotiate changes to company policy.

No matter how much your schedule will permit potential flexibility, the bottom line is that it is not about you. It is about your employer. As with any negotiations, you must be able to outline how the other party will benefit. Here are a few points to make when negotiating with an employer for increased flexibility:

*Flexible employers attract more outstanding employees on average;
*Instances of absenteeism and lateness drop considerably;
*Employees who are content aren’t looking to leave so retention is improved;
*The employer’s public image is a more favorable one;
*Employees can work at their peak performance hours around the clock; and
*Happy employees are more productive in tighter timeframes.

It’s important to remember that flexibility works both ways. Be willing to pitch in during an emergency or cover when a co-worker is absent, when possible. Again, it’s about getting the job done the same as if you were in the office. Establish communication structure and policies concerning attending meetings during your scheduled time away from the office. You want to create a sense of dependability so that the firm doesn’t think time working from home is time spent not working.

When negotiating for a more flexible work setup, it is best to outline your reasons in writing for your employer. They should include:

*Precisely what flexibility/schedule you are seeking;
*How this flexibility will benefit your employer (see above);
*How you will manage to accomplish all your work and meet target goals;
*How you will maintain all necessary communication with clients, management and co-workers, including attending meetings, either in person or electronically;
*If telecommuting, what your home office equipment will consist of; and
*A proposed schedule for your boss to periodically review your continued effectiveness under the new schedule — a trial period is an excellent suggestion, and you must be willing to relinquish your schedule if you fail to hold up your end of the bargain.

Perhaps your dilemma is not in needing a regular flexible schedule but just an occasional personal day or a few hours. Despite the fact that you are willing to work extra hours to compensate, it can be difficult to muster up the nerve to request personal time. That’s because we are afraid we will be seen as unwilling to work. But most of us aren’t unwilling to work. In fact, we’re anxious to be seen as willing workers. So remember, if you’re willing to put in the hours to offset your absence, this is not an unreasonable request.

Consider stacking the deck in your favor by subtly impressing your employer with your devotion to family or hobbies in order to make them more receptive to your occasional requests. Possibilities include:

*Generously sprinkling your work area with photographs of your family, or those of you enjoying your favorite pastime (e.g., rock climbing, hiking, cycling or photos, if photography is your passion);
*Inviting your family to visit your workplace periodically and introducing them to your boss;
*Sharing occasional anecdotes, when appropriate, of family activities and vacations and how much the bonding means to you;
*Ensuring your spouse/partner is present at all office functions that are extended to guests;
*Inviting your boss to join you in your favorite activity or charitable endeavor; and
*Displaying any citations for charity or pro bono work that you do that might reflect well on your firm.

Depending on your work environment, it may be prudent to avoid detailing the reason why you want the time off, such as to attend your daughter’s softball game. The reason you want the time off should not be a factor in whether or not it is granted. It is not up to your employer to decide if something is important enough to grant you flexibility but simply if it can be. Try not to let your employer put you in the position of defending the “why” of your request but, instead, focus on how you will compensate for the hours of absence and get the required work done.

If you focus on how you will achieve your targets and meet your responsibilities instead of the fact that you’re asking for time away from the office, and your absence doesn’t cause a legitimate hardship for your boss and/or co-workers, the odds are very much in your favor that you’ll negotiate successfully for what you want.